Love. One of the most overused word in the whole world so overused people do often times say it with out them knowing what it really means. As for me nasabi ko na rin ata ang salitang I love you ng 2 beses once for my first which I think didn't ended very well. And as for the second time I said it ,this is what my story is all about.

Im Toni Gimenez 25 years old single the last time I checked which was about mga 2 taon na ata if im not mistaken. Im a nurse working in an internationally accredited hospital sa ortigas. And here I am kababa lang sa north station ng mrt. Thank goodness medyo mabilis ang byahe dahil gabi. Medyo marami pa ring taong sumasakay ng ganitong oras mostly call center agents o kaya mga taong may perang pang shopping sa sm north o kaya trinoma. Mag tatatlong taon ko nang gawi ang rutang ito. From novaliches sakay ng fx then baba ng mrt then ortigas. Yes I live at novaliches medyo malayo I might say pero nakagawian ko na so what I do is just put on my earphones on and listen to music just to kill the travel time. Dyahe mukhang maraming tao nakalimutan ko sale sa sm malas ko lang kasi dala dala ko ang ilang rolls ng cartolina, at 1 ream ng bond paper na pinakisuyo ng headnurse naming for our case presentation. Good thing I have my stored value card so no more pila for me.

Nice timing nakatsamba ako ng runaway train sa mrt, yung train na magbubukas lang sandali then magsasarado na agad in 10 seconds or less hindi man ako nakaupo still maluwag pa rin kahit nakatayo. And since may mga dala dala ako I went to the opposite door at dun ako humilig. Quezon ave station medyo madaming taong nag aabang ng train im sure im gonna get squashed. The train door opened and then a guy came in. he was an eye candy I admit. He was about 6 feet maputi square jawed black hair. Aww if I can have a guy just like him swerte ko naman. Then on his back came about a dozen peeps na nag uunahan pumasok so like any mrt moment he has no choice but to go with the flow. Medyo napalakas ata ang pagpasok ng mga tao when suddenly dire diretso sya towards me. Jeez babanga sya sa akin. My heart stopped this is gonna hurt Im sure. I closed my eyes waiting for our collision. The suddenly they was loud thump. I opened my eyes. And I saw his two arms straight on the door behind me. My arm holding the stuff tightly can feel the muscles beneath his shift. I shivered, which I always do because im not comfortable with kahit kelan sa ganung sitwasyon even with my co workers siguro with a few of my friends pwede.

"muntikan na yun ah" he said smiling

Naman pamatay ang ngiti ni kuya

"he he he, oo nga eh" I can smell his perfume and his breath. Man this is too much for a day. "looks like I have to be in this position for awhile you don't want those stuff to be crushed by me" then he grinned again " ok.." sabi ko with a hint nervousness.

Then his facial expression changed. His face was grimacing. Looks like he is on pain.

"are you ok sir" of course the nurse I am I have to ask. And im not flirting "actually masakit ang tyan ko kanina pang umaga and I think I have fever now" he replied his face still showing that he is in pain "well I think you should see a doctor sir don't look too good" I said "well that's where im going now thanks. And please don't call me sir im just 27 your making like 35" he said trying to smile "youre a nurse right" "uhuh and?" "can you accompany me? dun na lang ako sa pinagtatrabahuan mo magpapa check if its ok I don't I can make it on my own" "uh.. ok. No problem that's what im made for, you just have to bear a lil longer one more station and its my stop"

Ortigas station my stop and eventually his kasi I think this man has to be seen by a doctor right away. I thought I cant carry him like this I have to let go of the office supplies im carrying and I held his arm put it on my shoulder. This is gonna be hard he is taller and bigger than me. But Thanks to the two years of lifting post op patients I think it nyaka ko naman siguro to kahit papaano. We carefully went down the plight of stairs walked a lil more papuntang ortigas and I when I saw a taxi pinara ko na. I think this man cant walk anymore. Naman nakakarami na si kuya ha. Oh well good karma na lang coming from lord ok na rin. "manong sa medical city pakibilis lang" sabi ko driver. Mukhang naunawaan naman nya na emergency kaya pinaharurot nya na yung taxi.

"renee may patient ka masakit ang tyan" bungad ko sa er nurse na dating nasa floor namin before naka assign. "ano naman yang dala mo pasyente masakit ang tyan o std" wika nya habang ngumingiti "renee pwede padala na lang ng stretcher pakibilisan tawag ka na rin ng orderly hindi ko kayang buhatin si kuya ng magisa" sabi ko "fine.. hmm cute si kuya ha sure ako std yan kaya masakit ang tyan" while eyeing on the patient "baliw! Umayos ka na nga" habang pinapasok namin yung patient papasok ng ER.

He doesn't wanna open his eyes. His face is red and sweaty. So is his torso. His white tee is drenched with perspiration that showed his physique. Too much of that I reported that whole incident to the people in the ER and then I came up to my floor. Tinext ko na lang si renee na pa update naman ako kung anong meron bakit anong nangyari sa pasyente na dala ko.

Patay im late dahil sa kanya. Mga past 10pm na ako dumating. Oh well magpapaliwanag na lang ako sa supervisor namin im sure she will understand.

After 8 hours of work. Uwian na naman. Same old routine. Work - bahay - work. That's my life for almost 3 years. Pagdating ng bahay, ligo of course you don't want the bacteria sa hospital sa bahay mo diba. Then I looked in the mirror im 25 years old. I got black hair with a few patches of grey hair on the sides, Moreno with a nice even skin tone. I don't consider myself catchy. Im just ok. Pwede na kumbaga as people would say. Kaya nga di na nasundan yung una. And my looks im sure wont have a guy like mr stomach ache last night. Jeez oo nga pala musta na nga pala siya. Loko tong si renee di man lang nagreply sa mga text ko. Naoperahan kaya siya. O well pagtatanong ko na lang siguro sabagay dalawang floor lang naman kami na for post op surgery patients.

I came to work earlier that night not because I wanna make up for being late last night but to inquire from renee kung nasan na napunta yung pasyente ko kagabi when to my dismay nag awol ang renee, patay ang celphone niya mukhang nakipagdate na naman ata dun sa matandang architect na nagging patient nya din dati. Di ko nga lam dun kung bakit pinag sisiksikan nya yung sarili nya dun sa 36 year old na architect na yun when she's a good catch, coca cola body and a beautiful face yun nga lang may pagka loka loka.

Pagdating ko sa floor I checked our census. Thank god full house which mean no more admissions mas madali kasing maghawak ng full load kaysa sa mag admit ng mag admit. Our floor caters pre op and post op surgical patients in any field mapa surgery, optha or ent pa yan basta for surgery amin. At ang napunta sa akin isang Ex lap na appendectomy, a patient for eye surgery and a few post op patients na wala na masyadong gagawin. In short madali ang buhay ko ngayon.

So we did our rounds. Came patient 815 Sean Ang hmm ex lap patient pero madali lang kasi appendectomy naman. Pasok kami room then Jessie my co staff endorsed all the drips and contraptions the patient has. Not much paying attention or looking to the patient kasi im concentrating on his contraptions when someone grabbed my hand.

"hey thanks man for helping me yesterday, by the way mom this is the guy who helped me last night"

Then I looked at him its mr stomach pain with all his glory. Then his mom hugged me tight. His mom was around 60's I think but still in good form fair complexion with qualities of a meztisa. Hindi ako agad nakapag react then I just said "that my duty as a nurse mam, its our calling to help to those who need our care anywhere anytime" saying it with a big smile.

"by the way im lucia and thank you for helping my unico hijo. You know he lives by himself and we just knew this afternoon na he went to the procedure and we are so worried. Por dios por santo thank you how can I repay you" "just like I said mam" "oh please call me lucia from now on please" she immediately replied "uh just like I said im glad to be of service" while tapping her mothers shoulder "and oh by the way he is still on NPO which means he isn't allowed to take anything by mouth. ill be back later but if you need just press the buzzer and ill be here right away" "oh that would be delightful and thanks again hijo. By the way your name is?" said lucia "toni mam" then I left the room turned of the main lights and turn on the dim lights. Then I said to myself "well, well, well goodbye mr toni gimenez hello mr toni.

After a day his condition went well and he was placed on clear liquids. His PCA (patient controlled analgesia) was discontinued which means his foley catheter can now be removed. Hmm looks like it will be a duty for Mr Gimenez to pull out something from his woody I said to myself smiling.

I went to his room mga 6am na ata yun. His mother wasn't there nagpaalam na bibili ng coffee sa starbucks na located sa foyer ng building. The early morning sunshine is starting to stream from the window to the blinds then to his face. He is really a good catch swerte ng girl na magiging asawa nito. Full lips, nicely shaped nose, dark eyebrows. One word perfect. I was in tranced state nang mahuli nya akong nakatitig at pinagmamasdan siya.

"oh good morning mr ang your doctor ordered for the removal of you catheter so im here to remove it" I said immediately showing my gloved hands with the other hand holding a needless syringe to remove the catheter tip balloon. "oh" he grinned "is that gonna hurt" he said still smiling "Hinayupak ang loko mukhang nag eenjoy na pinagmamasdan ko siya. Fine gwapo ka na I get it" I said to myself. "well yes mr. ang this is gonna hurt" I replied. "im going to make sure it will really hurt man" sa isip isip ko. So I removed the anchor using the syringe. Carefully not to touch anything else I said to him to take deep breath after I count to three. "ok are you ready mr. ang?" I looked at his eyes "ready as you are mr gimenez" he said smiling in a naughty way "do you like what you see huh?" he added

Loko to ah pinaglalaruan ba ako nito! Kung may motto man ako sa buhay ito ay ang "I don't get mad I get even" kaya without even counting to 3 and without him taking a deep breathe I pulled out his foley catheter slowly so he can feel the burning sensation dun sa nota nya.

"holy fucking mother of a cow" sigaw nya. With giving blunt look at him. "ok were done mr. ang you should be able to urinate by yourself in 6 hours or else we will put this back. So make sure drink lots of fluids ok. And please ambulate. Or we will surely" I said while dangling the foley.

The next day hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ba ako na ako pa rin ang nurse niya thanks to his mom na umiwi na ng bukidnon which talked to our headnurse na ako na lang palagi ang nurse ng anak nya so talagang sa akin na talaga hinabilin yung anak nya kasi pinauwi na raw sya ng anak nya. Is he playing games on me like the way he treats me? Kaya pagpasok ko sa room nya I didn't smile I gave him a poker face.

"not in the good mood mr gimenez" sean said "I was believe me mr. ang but now im not so sure" l replied while looking at him bluntly .hiding my emotions are not of my best talents my eyes always give me away kaya pag badtrip ako or galit ako or depressed my friends always knows. "are you mad at me mr. gimenez" he asked "mad mr. ang? I am not surely. I am just not mad. You must be mistaken" I said to him while looking at his eyes. The I saw a grin on his face. Mukhang talagang trip nya talaga akong inisin. So I calmed myself as I try to take his vitals without throwing a punch at him. "seriously?" sabi niya "yes seriously" I replied. I hurriedly finished my routine on him when I was about to exit his room when he asked me something na nagpanting talaga ang tenga ko. "oh wait mr gimenez why the rush. I wanna ask you something" "yes" napaka imposible talaga ng taong to. Naman... "do you have a crush on me. Kasi by the way you look at me and..."

Hindi ko na pinatapos yung sentence nya now im mad. "mr. sean ang, yes youre perfect, you look hot, you got a nice mom, a body to die for and a face of an angel.. yes mr. ang any girl o kahit lalaki pa would fall for your hots, but you know mr. ang not me.. not mr. toni gimenez because I don't fall for narcissistic appendix less people na walang modo like you. So if you'll excuse me I have more sane patients to attend to" there I said it to his face then I left his room.

I saw he was shocked well even on myself I was shocked by the things I said. Di ko lang talaga gusto na ginaganon ako ng mga lalaki. Well im gay fine. But im educated I have a BSN degree hindi ako bastusin so I don't deserve to be treated like that. Kahit nung college days or even elementary days ko hindi nila kaya akong bastusin kasi im competitive. Im the best male student there is sa section namin di tulad ng iba straight guys nga pero they cant even give a decent English sentence.

The next day is my off. Di ko napansin its feb 13 na pala. Tomorrow is valentines. I always get cranky at valentines. My first lover I met him at valentines after months of talking over the phone. Akala ko sya na. then one day I just woke up I don't have feeling for him. Ang sama ko no. he was good for me he brings me coffee everyday kasi im a coffee addict. He loved me but I cant love him back. I just got excited by the fact na magkaka bf na ako. After a month I broke up with him. I said I don't wanna be unfair to him.

Valentines day. Everybody seems to be so jolly. Pagpasok ko tingin agad ako sa census. Thank god no more mr. sean ang nadischarge na raw kanina.

Came morning I logged out from the hospitals finger scanner then I decided to have a nice cup triple grande caramel macchiato. Paakyat na ako ng stairs when I saw a black mazda 3 approaching my kind of car sorry me being a nurse he in the Philippines wont make me able to buy me a car as expensive as that I really need to get outta of the Philippines. I was thinking that thought when the car's window came down then mr. sean ang appeared. Oh come on umagang umaga ano naman gusto nitong mokong na to. I continued to walk ignoring the son of a bitch mukhang napansin nyang mag walk out ako kaya bumaba siya ng kotse.

"hey mr. gimenez wanna have coffee" he asked "I was about to then you came.. then suddenly I don't feel like having one anymore" I said bitterly "I know this nice coffee place which makes a great cappuccino. come with me ill treat you. I know how much your addicted to coffee"

Then I looked at him. "the last time I checked you had a ruptured appendix not a ruptured eardrum. Didn't you hear me man I don't wanna have coffee anymore. What im gonna do now Is continue walking away from you before you get any ideas again. Youre impossible mr. ang. "what!? All I said is ask you to have coffee with me dami mo nang sinabi" inis nyang sabi. As for me walk out pa rin ako. Then he suddenly he went down on his knees "fine im sorry for treating you like that" he screamed. Napatingin ako sa kanya. Impossible talaga tong taong to. Pinagtitinginan na kami ng mga tao. Shit! "coffee mr. gimenez?" he screamed again. Fine I said to myself. Lakad ako papunta sa kotse nya then sakay sa backseat. Then sumunod na lang siya. "what the hell are you doing man" sabi ko pagsakay nya sa kotse. "the one thing about mr. ang is that he is very persistent" he grinned while putting his Gucci specs. "one thing more I know bout mr. ang is that he also knows how to pester me" sabat ko sa kanya habang siya nakangiti.

We were traveling the length of EDSA to quezon city then kung saan sya pumasok pasok na street I lost track kung nasan na kami. Hindi naman kasi ako gala kaya hindi ko alam kung nasan na ako. Hindi kami nag iimikan. The player was playing soft music. Its so relaxing the suddenly hindi ko napansin nakatulog na pala ako.

"wake up sleep head. Here we are" while tapping my shoulder. Then I saw a two storey house made of glass and wood. Mamahalin ang pagkakagawa at malayo ang mga kapitbahay. Halatadong narcissistic talaga yung may ari kasi mukhang wala kang maitatago sa loob kasi gawa nga sa glass ang most of the house. But I must say maganda talaga yung bahay kahit sa façade pa lang. "and where are we? I don't see no coffee house" "uhmm I did mention coffee yes, and definitely we will be having that and better I will be making you one on my own home" pagmamalaki nya while opening the door. The furniture inside is mostly wood. And the glass panels have either while vertical blinds or white curtains. "ok you stay here and then I will make us coffee. Feel at home toni" he said while smiling devilishly.

Then I walked around looking at few picture frames. Mostly him and his mom. A few pictures of house surrounded trees with him infront eating mangoes. Cute pala ang mokong kahit nung bata. Napansin ko lang walang pic ng dad nya. I was smiling in some of his pics when I saw him with two mugs of cappuccino and he handed me one.

"try it. Its our family recipe. Even our nannies does not know how make that" he said now he is only wearing a white tank top displaying his muscles. I just don't know if its coffee which is more delish or is it him. Then I took a sip. Well its good. Nothing that I have tasted before. I think its heavenly. O baka yung presence nya lang yung kaya heavenly yung feeling. "so pasado mr gimenez" he asked "pwede ka nang mag asawa mr. ang"

Ok naman pala sya when you get to know him. He said sorry sabi niya talagang ganun lang daw talaga siya mapagbiro. Isa lang siyang anak and he manages a coffee farm sa bandang cavite. And this is his weekend abode. We were on that state ng I decided to rest my back on the cushion. And I tell you that's a bad move for me.

I woke up at around 8pm. When I realized I was not in my room. I was just wearing a white tank top and a black short shorts. Fuck I realized I was still at sean's house. And fuck who the hell changed my clothes. I was in that confused and a lil bit panicky situation when he came in and he was smiling at me again.

"hows your sleep toni. Oh I must say you must have slept wonderfully by the way snored abot hanggang baba ng bahay" he was still smiling. "whatever! I need to go. Uhm by the way who changed my clothes" I asked him "e di ako alangan naman si manang e kahit na 52 yrs old nay un virgin pa rin yun besides that makes us even you saw mine I saw yours" now he is really smiling yung parang nakakaloko. "uhm your uniform is pressed and is on the cabinet once your ready ill be downstairs ready to take you home" "oh that wont be necessary I can take myself home" "oh believe me this subdivision is so secluded na wala masyadong taxi papasok ditto so if you want to commute think thrice" "seriously? Fine. but just take me to edsa and ill ride the bus home" "ok then were settled"

Then hinatid nya ako palabas ng edsa this time dun nya ako pinaupo sa passenger seat. Totoo nga medyo malayo yung lugar nila palabas ng main road at walang masyadong public transpo na available. Halatadong pang mayaman lang talaga yung lugar kasi kung wala kang sasakyan im sure kakapal ang kalyo mo sa kakalakad araw araw pala lumabas lang ng EDSA.

"thanks for the coffee. Ok ka naman pala eh pag wala kang tama sa utak" sabi ko habang palabas ng kotse "no problemo. Till next time" sabi niya

We became good friends after that. He will fetch me after work. Then we will have coffee. He is such a good friend. Touchy yung type ng tao na mahilig humilig sa shoulder mo pag manunuod kayo ng sine. O kaya aakbayan ka sa mall habang naglalakad. With him im comfortable kahit gawin nya yun ok lang talaga sa akin I don't even feel a bit of awkwardness. Minsan were on that state na nakaakbay sya sa akin nang may nakasalubong kaming 2 gay guys and im sure im just sure they eyed me and him. Me kasi hindi ako bagay sa kanya at sya dahil he loves to flaunt his asset. His muscles I mean. then inalis ko yung akbay nya sa akin then ibinalik nya ulit sabi niya inggit lang sila hmmp. Ako naman deep inside kilig to the max para akong teenager nakakatawa.

Minsan naiisip ko para na kaming magsyota. Close sya sa family ko. Close din ako sa mom nya. Kulang na lang magsabihan kami ng I love you then magpakasal na kami. Pero I have to compose myself. Maybe he just wanna be friends. Be a good friend or be brother maybe. Wasak lang talaga.

One time sabi nya susunduin nya ako after work then sabi nya punta raw kami ng antipolo. He was usually on time well most of the time he is early nag aabang na siya paglabas ko sa hospital after my shift. Then 1am na wala pa siya. Buti na lang hindi ako iniwan yung bago naming nurse sa unit. Nagkwentuhan muna kami. When he came ng mga quarter to 2. Madilim yung mukha nya. Hindi siya umiimik when I asked him hows his day. So I just kept quiet.

"sino yung kasama mo? Na late lang ako ng konti sino sino na sinasamahan mo." Angas nya "ah si chris bago naming nurse he accompanied me nagkwentuhan muna kami habang ala ka ba tamang tama kasi di pa raw siya inaantok tapos sa dorm malapit lang hospital sya nakatira kaya ayos" I said calmly ayokong sabayan yung topak nya kasi alam kong mag sasagutan lang kami. Sa tagal namin magkaibigan natuto na akong mag adjust sa mood swings niya. "are homo's really like that. One guy isn't enough. They wanna have everyone" sabi niya. Nainis na ako that's below the belt "what?!! Hey mr. sean ang whats your problem. That guy just wanna befriend me and it doesn't mean a gay guy befriends a straight guy just for the reason he wants to suck he his cock. Know what your so impossible. And by the fucking way ano ba tayo? Who gave you the right to choose the peeps who I talk too. Man we aren't even lovers" I snapped

Then he didn't talked back. His face still angry. His hand tight on the steering wheel. The speed on the car says 180, now going 200. The hell he is driving fast.

"sean slow down! Sean slow down or else ill open the door and jump outside of this frickin car because the least I wanna experience right is have a coma" I shouted at him. His face still dark. Then he lowered his speed then we stop on road side. I immediately came out of the car walked the opposite road a taxi then went home.

After that day he didn't showed up I texted him how he was and I got nothing. Days became weeks and weeks became months but no sean appeared. Tried to go to his house and found no one but his househelp saying he went to bukidnon. Its like a part of me has gone. i love him. I just don't know if he loves me like the way I love him. or even kung ano ba kami talaga.

Those days I put on my game face. That's a skill we nurses acquire as time goes by. I smile at my co staff. My patients. But deep inside my heart longs that narcissistic, egomaniac and rude sean ang.

Then I told my mom im going to accept the offer for me to practice abroad. It has been offered to me a long time ago I just don't wanna bring it up because I don't wanna leave sean. But he is gone now. And everytime I see the places weve been. The room he is admitted before. A part of me dies. And I don't wanna be like that anymore. I came to time that I have to face my future. That is without him. its just sad na meron talagang ganung tao. Yung taong papasok sa buhay mo, sisiksik babaguhin yung dati mong buhay tapos bigla siyang aalis at ang iiwan sayo yung buhay mong wasak. Kasi nasanay kang andyan sya.

To hell with him baka nga nambabae na nga yung mokong nay un. For him it isn't hard.

So while I was riding the MRT that day I called up the agency and told them im ready. That day I also passed my resignation letter. My superiors didn't talk me out of it. They understand that I needed this the most. Not for monetary reasons but to start over again.

So for the last time I went to the my fave coffee shop. Ordered my fave triple grande caramel macchiato and reminisced the good and bad memories this hospital has given me. Mag 2 buwan na palang wala kaming communication ni sean. Well this is it. Theres no turning back. Goodbye yesterday and hello tomorrow. Every step seems so heavy as I walk away from the hospital when I saw a familiar black mazda 3 with a familiar plate number. I don't want him to see me. We are over. So what I did is walk with the crowd then rode the fx and went home I just don't have time to be run over with my feelings bukas na ang flight ko papuntang Vermont.

Vermont.. new work place, new faces and better pay. I just love it here. My life seems so perfect. But still I miss sean. Oh well that's what we call in the process of recuperation.

I concentrated on my work. Then when I got enough money I invested on a house. I coordinated with a architect and made myself a bungalow house made with stone, wood and glass. Just like sean's. the inside wooden furniture and state of the art home entertainment system.

Time flew. Feb 14 na naman bukas. And its been 2 years since I had coffee with sean and a start of a good friendship. Then a part of my heart twitched, felt pain. Hindi pa pala ako over with sean. Why does he have to be so persistent kahit wala na kaming communications andito pa rin siya sa puso ko, oh well oo nga pala just like he said persistent nga pala ang mokong.

I asked the day off from my head the next day. Went to the nearest starbucks order my fave coffee and just sit there sipping my coffee thinking bout nothing. When I realized what im drinking is cappuccino. And not like any cappuccino. It's the cappuccino a very special one made me 2 years ago. im so sure this is seans cappuccino. I stood up and looked for him. then saw no sean. Then a voice told me "iba talaga ang timpla ko ano". And I looked to the person which that voice came from. And there I saw sean with his signature teasing smile. I don't know how to react. At that instance I felt anger. Kasi he left me hanging on the middle. Kasi he left without saying why. Im angry at myself coz amidst all of that I still love him. I have no strength. I put down my cup and walked out of the store. I jumped to my red ducati and put on my helmet kasi tears are starting to well up my eyes. I still hear him sa likod ko trying to catch up and calling up my name. then he did catch up on me but my bike is now revved and im bout to go. Then when he figured out he wont be able to catch me he did it again. He went down on his kness akala nya mapipigilan nya ako well bumenta na yung drama nya.

Then he shouted on the top of his lungs "please don't leave me toni, I love you and im sorry" now tears are falling down from his eyes.

The same familiar situation people started pool up the scene. i could've just left that scene. 15 seconds and Ill be a few a blocks away with my ducati. But I didn't. I removed my helmet turned off my bike. Went to him then kissed him. no more words that kiss sealed the deal. It was passionate. I don't bloody care if people see us. Then we stood up and went inside his car. My hand was holding his while he was driving.

"im sorry. And believe me I love you. I just don't wanna admit to myself that I do. Im sorry that I left you. Im sorry that I left you hanging" sabi niya "no you don't have to explain tapos na yun whats important is now. And im good with that basta wala lang iwanan ok" "yup wala nang iwanan I promise" he replied

I was amazed he knows where I live. May 1 week na pala sya sa US stalking me ganun sya ka persistent.

Pagpasok naming ng flat ko he kissed me again the took my hand. "can I be yours forever" sabi niya

I was shocked of course my heart thumping loudly magkaka stroke na ata ako sa ginagawa nya.

"then forever it is mr. ang" I replied then we kissed again. The inserted something on my finger. Nagulat na lang ako it was a ring made of gold and on the middle was titanium. Naman mukhang di na ako papakawalan ng mokong na to.

Then we kissed again. After that we started loosing our clothes. Tinulak nya ako sa bed the slowly he undressed while looking at my eyes. Its magnificent how he looks like. Still the chiseled bodice. I always wondered what it would be like to make love with him. and now this is it. And I don't know if it's good kasi this would be my first time to make love. Yes I watch porn pero iba to. I can see his bulge from his boxers mapapalaban ako ditto. Now I start to shiver then he kissed me. I can feel his hardness over mine. Then he said "relax don't worry ill be slow" and then nervously I said "yes! Slow is nice" he kissed me again passionately. He is such a pro when I became relaxed I started to return his kisses. And then when broke with the kiss he said "are you sure this is your first time" and I replied "yeah I didn't know youre such a good teacher and im such a fast learner". He let me removed his boxers and there his hard 7 inch dick came in front of, shit mapapalaban talaga ako ditto. He kissed me again. I kissed his neck, his earlobes while stroking his dick. I felt the ooze of precum from his dick. I went down and sucked his precum when he shouted in ecstasy. Then I went up to his chest I played his nipples with my tongue until it swelled to attention while I my other hand massage the other defined pec. I can hear his moans its so sexy. It turns me on. Then I went down on this abs and planted trails of wet kisses. Then I looked at his eyes telling me to suck his cock. Its so thick so I just sucked the head of his member while I stoke his penis. There his precum oozed and oozed. It was sweet and that was my first taste of cum. I want more. I sucked more efficiently making him moan louder. Then he stopped me. He wants to pop my cherry.

 

We changed positions. I laid on the bed face down. Then he was putting on protection but I stopped him I said I want to feel him. and I want him to cum inside me and in return he smiled devilishly. He embraced me, I can feel his muscular body on my back. Then slowly he pushed his member inside me. It was painful. Tears started to swell. He saw me crying and told me its ok if its really painful we can do it some other time. But I looked at his eyes I want to feel you now I don't want tomorrow or the next day I want him to fuck me now. Then he kissed me while he pushing his entire length inside me. It was so painful but his kisses and his tight embrace made it all go away. Then he started to pump slowly. And then the pain became extascy. He was moaning and as I was. I started to reciprocate his thrusts. Then I told him "I know I told you to go on slow but I changed my mind I want you to fuck me hard. Ive waited for this for so long and I don't want slow". Then he kissed me and he fucked my fast and rough. We are so sweaty that I think our sweats already combined. Then I hear him moan louder and I know he is in the brink of coming. As for me I think im going to come in a moment without touching myself. Then I did, my rectal muscles became more tight making him moan louder. then I felt hot jizz inside me. It was so warm. He came while he was kissing me. What the hell for a first time I said to myself.

 

After a month we came home to the Philippines. And arranged for the two of us to be united.It was a small gathering composed of close family members and friends. And I cant believe he cried more than I did when we were united he was such a crybaby.